But you keep the car on, while you're waiting out front

fake-mermaid:

why can’t mosquitos suck out my fat instead

phanlphan:

no dan

dermythosdessisyphos:

wewillavenge-it:

nickiminiall:

isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?

Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets?

glasses

telapathetic:

Its vodka o clock

korra:

(kanye voice) alien sex

bootycaller:

who wants to give up on society and go live in a treehouse with me

icarly-official:

awkwardly raising your hand to answer a question when the entire class shouts out the answer
image

me: hey maybe today's gonna be a good day
hair: no
family: no
school: no
life: no

bewbin:

thefinestlad:

bewbin:

I just slept for 15 hours what I miss?

This dick

oh thank god i thought i missed something big 

loser-fish:

Today in biology the teacher asked “why do chromosomes have to stick together?” And I whispered “because they’re bromosomes” and the guy next to me just about died laughing

everyoneisdeadnow:

if we go to a restaurant and have to choose between a table or a booth and you say table i will never trust you again

wtvrjadley:

I HAVE NEVER READ ANYTHING SO ACCURATE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

Dreams of clean teeth
✌ Hey yo Tony where'd u get that fresh pepperoni? ✌
I can tell that you're tired
codes by
pohroro